Stress is a normal part of any relationship. If you weren’t aware of it before, the years 2020 and 2021 have been screaming it at full volume for many people. All the typical couple stressors exist, e.g. raising kids, work issues, finances, etc. These are enough to drive any couple apart.

On top of that are the unique factors introduced in the age of Covid-19. Living in perpetual fear is a major challenge. But, regardless of such specifics, a basic reality holds true. When couples can go through tough times, they can become more distant or become stronger together.

4 Ways to Become Stronger Together Despite Daily Stressors

1. Steady and Healthy Communication

In times like these, confusion may rule the day. You both realize you feel agitated but you can always pinpoint the underlying causes. Steady, healthy communication is the proven path toward:

• Identifying the source of stress

• Talking about our needs as a couple and as individuals

This can be tricky when the causes are rooted in the relationship. But there is no replacement for honest interactions. Stress instantly becomes more manageable when lines of communication are open in both directions. Speaking of which, responding is a big part of healthy communication. You both need to know you are being heard and validated and taken seriously.

2. Coping as a Couple

Steady and healthy communication creates a foundation of teamwork. When the walls feel like they are closing in, you lean on each other for support and solutions. Collaboration is a powerful tool, and something that couples that start therapy typically have to learn. Let each other know you share their feelings of tension and frustration.

From there, make it clear that you will do whatever you can to tackle it together.

3. Avoid the Blame Game

Whether it’s social distancing or your child’s academic performance, it can be tough to stay cool when you are on edge. There is a tendency to lash out. This tendency must be squashed. Couples that avoid reflexive blame have been shown to report greater closeness and satisfaction.

Take the time to assess the situation. Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. If the source of stress is eternal, this is an ideal time to go into teamwork mode. If you discern you are feeling tense due to relationship issues, this is precisely where your communication skills will come in handy. In either scenario, the blame game will only serve to escalate the agitation.

4. Stay Connected Through the Stressful Times

When stress appears to be the default setting, it can be tempting to withdraw. For couples, this choice is very, very counterproductive.

What you need more than anything is to stay connected. Remind each other that they have a supportive partner. This can change your perception of the situation while making your relationship stronger. A few basics to keep in mind:

• Check-in with each other: Find out if it’s a good time to bring up certain topics.

• Offer your help: Ask what they need and do your best to provide it.

• Physical touch and affection: Hand-holding, gentle touch, and especially hugs are essential. Studies show that a hug held for 30 seconds can align two people and calm them down.

Ask For Professional Help

Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. No one should be expected to handle all of this stress on their own. Couples counseling is an ideal setting for developing the coping mechanisms you need.

In the presence of a skilled, unbiased guide, you and your partner can explore and discover in a safe space. Everyone needs help from time to time. I invite you to reach out to set up a free consultation today.

If you want to know more about how I think of couples and relationships, come visit my couples and marriage counseling page. If you are in Minnesota, I’m here to help. Contact me, let’s talk, and let’s get you both on the same page again. You can call at 612.230.7171, email me through my contact page, or click on the orange button to self-schedule a free, 15-minute phone call.