If you’re needing to calm down, but don’t have a lot of experience in how to regulate your runaway thoughts, heart rate, and breathing, square breathing can help you slow things down.
Follow this sequence:
Hold your breath for 4 seconds
Breathe out all of your air.
Hold your lungs empty for 4 seconds.
Repeat Step 1.
This is all there is to square breathing. Why is it called square breathing? Imagine that we’re graphing the volume of your lungs on a chart. As you breathe in, the line representing your lung volume goes up, holds flat, then goes down, holds flat, then repeats. This comes close to being a “square wave.”
What are some of the benefits?
It keeps you on a regular pace - if you’re fighting, you might not be breathing enough, or you might be hyperventilating. This keeps you at a constant pace.
Your focus on counting uses your prefrontal cortex to focus your attention on the numbers. This interrupts the “limbic loop” that you might be going through that ups your anxiety or rage.
Breathing in deeply activates your parasympathetic nervous system. This counteracts the effects of adrenaline that you may experience while fighting.
I teach this to clients in individual therapy as well as couples therapy. This skill is useful whether you’re suffering a panic attack or want to calm down while fighting with your loved one. If you’re interested in my thoughts on marriage counseling, see my marriage counseling page. If you’re in the Minneapolis area, feel free to contact me for help. I’m in Edina, near Southdale Mall. You can contact me the following ways: Phone: 612.230.7171, email through my web form, or click the button below to reserve a time for a 15 minute phone conversation.
Be well.