Saying “thank you” is a really good idea in virtually any facet of your life. It shows appreciation to others. You also get the added benefit of experiencing gratitude, which is kind of like showing appreciation to yourself. When interacting with your partner — the love of your life — appreciation is critical.

This does not mean it has to be a grand gesture that you film and post on social media. Appreciation is conveyed in a variety of ways — many of them subtle and personal. It can land like a kiss on the forehead. In our hectic world, these simple acts bring us back to the present moment.

This article is about showing your partner appreciation. If you’re already doing it, but it’s not landing right or you don’t feel like they’re really appreciating things, then you might have a pattern of conflict that keeps you stuck.

More Than “Thank You”

When someone holds the door for you or shares their French fries, you say thank you. If it’s your partner, however, you may inadvertently take it for granted. It’s your “other half” and they already know you appreciate them, right? Maybe yes, maybe now. But that’s not the point.

You’ve committed as a couple, and that means you go a little further to find ways to connect. For example, let’s say you did the laundry but still had to fold and put away the clothes. They step in and do that chore without you asking.

You could say “thanks.” You could also use this as an opportunity to show appreciation, e.g.

• Tell them how relieved you are

• Explain how you saved them time and energy

• Let them know how this gesture makes you feel

• Use it as a chance to share the qualities you deeply appreciate in them

As you can see, this takes things to another level. As a couple, so many of your life’s seemingly mundane moments offer you an opportunity to enhance your communication skills and deepen your bond. Dwelling in a state of gratitude is a gift that keeps on giving.

6 Simple Ways to Show Your Partner Appreciation

The Basics

As time passes, you may find yourself kissing hello or goodbye less. You may not even say “good morning” anymore. These so-called “small” gestures are huge and they add up. Exploit every chance you get to stay connected. Check-in throughout the day. Remember milestones and support each other during tough times. This is your appreciation foundation.

Listen

Everyone wants to be validated. Everyone wants to be heard. Hone your listening skills and give your partner the gift of full attention.

Share Meals

This is more than eating together. Pick out recipes. Shop together, cook together, and clean up together. Most importantly, sit together while eating — without devices — and appreciate the mutual appreciation.

Share a Gratitude Journal

Here’s a fun collaborative effort. Shop together for a journal. Don’t do this online. Get a nice blank-sheeted book and leave it out so that both of you have easy access. Whenever you have something nice to say about your partner, write it in the book. Set aside time, say, once a week or once a month, to sit together and read it.

Compliments

Be generous with your compliments. Pledge to not keep such thoughts inside. Watch how the smiles proliferate when you both are free and easy with admiration and other good sentiments.

Flirting!

And let those compliments smooth the way for some flirting on a regular basis. It doesn’t matter if you’re together for three months or three decades, flirting is an important way to let your partner know you appreciate all that they bring to the table.

You May Need More Apologies

Are you trying to stick the appreciation but the other person is mad? Are they mad at something that happened a while ago, and it seems like they should be “over it?” Maybe you need help apologizing. Check out my article on how to apologize better.

Feeling Stuck?

There can be instances when the appreciation is not easy to find. That’s the ideal time to seek help. Sometimes you may be stuck in a cycle of conflict. Either couples or individual therapy can help you dig deep to explore the underlying causes of the stagnation. Let’s talk soon!

If you want to learn more about how I think of couples counseling, stop by my marriage and couples counseling page. If you are in Minnesota and want to learn how to get unstuck, let’s talk soon. I’m in Edina and serve the greater Minneapolis area. You can reach me by phone: 612-230-7171 or email through my contact page. Or you can click on the button below and self-schedule a time to talk by phone or video.